Dating Boo boos

You know how it is when one's mind when in an idle state would think of the darnest thing? I was experiencing that just now while packing certificates for the upcoming students' graduation. Somehow I started to think of the reasons why my past dating experience had always been a big disaster in that, the outing would go on fine enough but somehow, there would hardly be a second chance. 

One of the key things I learnt in my Dating 101 game was, never, ever tell him about your past love life. I think I have read this somewhere. He wanted to get to know you and NOT the person who used to hold your hands. While it's good to confess and come clear, sometimes, certain things are better left unsaid. He is not interested in what time you used to do together.  Full Stop.  I still remembered what I did to this person whom I used to date back then. He was not really my first choice as I was on a rebound. He wanted to go out, so I was happy to obliged. I wanted to be the free-spirited, confident un-whiny type because I thought all guys hated the whiny, needy kind. He was not impressed and found my attitude a bit "vulgar". Well, whatever lah Mr Rebound. 

I then went on another date with a friend (which was arranged by another friend) that ended up in a disastrous hollow state - to my hungry stomach that is. We didn't know where to go so we ended up walking from  Plaza Singapura all the way to Shaw House Lido.  The Malays would've called it "ukur jalan" - measuring the distance of Orchard Road from one end to another.

There were no interesting movie screening so we ended up walking again. It was a good workout if it weren't for the fact that I was wearing a new pair of shiny, black patent Mary Janes and my toes were practically killing me. Once we reached KFC, I thought it would be ok to appear coy and ordered iced lemon tea. I mean, girls aren't supposed to eat, right? They'd be seen as greedy, gluttony and fat, right?  He didn't even bother with "are you sure?"  Just went to the counter to buy himself a complete zinger meal and placed a hot cup of tea in front of me.  I asked for iced tea!

Ok, it was an honest mistake and as I'm not the type to create scenes, hot tea is perfectly fine with me. And so it was that I spent the entire time opposite him trying to sip the burning hot tea while ignoring my rumbling tummy and trying not to salivate at the juicy zinger he ate. Every bite he took was pure agony on my self-made hungry self. If I were not pretending to be prim and proper, you could've seen me drinking my own saliva right there on the table. There were no more phone calls after that and I'm more than happy not to hear from him. Lesson learnt: If you're hungry, order whatever you fancy and pay for it. If he likes you, he'll accept that you're human and would gladly pay your share of the meal. If he doesn't at least you know that you've paid your half and that you didn't owe him anything.  Oh, and wear comfortable shoes.  

Less than a month later, I was at the same KFC with this guy whom I've been dating on and off. I was slightly shivering because of the motorbike ride along the expressway on a chilly night. So this time, I asked him to get me hot tea. Stupid me, I used a straw and burned my tongue. Lesson learnt: Never use a straw to drink hot tea. 

On another date,  I had to wait almost 2 hours for him. I am very particular about punctuality and if you're late for that long, you're considered as "unforgivable". Maybe that's one of the reasons why he left me. The black face. Nobody wants a scowling bride. Lesson learnt: Never ever scowl. You might get a permanent scowl if you continue using a straw to drink hot tea but at least, it's an accidental one. I learned a lot along the way and sometimes I'd kick myself on all those avoidable incidences. There were so many "what ifs" back then.  But then again, maybe we're all destined for something better and that we'll live and let live.

Of Romancing Late Night TV

I was combing my hair in front of the vanity mirror this morning wearing a black bra and a tiered-bohemian skirt when Shakira's "Hips Don't Lie" entered my head. While I would gladly admit that my hair was perfect in it's unruly, horrifying glory, I wish I could say the same things about my hips. Yup, they're definitely not lying.

It's been quite a while since I see myself completely naked. Afterall, the mirror in the bathroom is at Hubby's height and which unfortunately, only captures my naked self from the chin up. So, the vanity mirror revealed that yes, my hips do not lie and that from the neck down, I was straight. Yes, straight, as in there are no curves. I was not even close to the "softly-rounded" category. I just realise that I have no waist!!..urghh...

I was so depressed, I wore a corset to work. I found it at the back of the cupboard. Very medievel and evil looking. It was a struggle to get it hooked all the way up but I got my waist.

I didn't bet on the hot weather though and by the time I reached the office, my oxygen deprived mental state was screaming "Fuck all those size zero supermodels who existed on air!!"

Lately I've been so into Romantic movies, I would've hated myself 14 years ago. I was channel surfing one night while everyone was blissfully asleep, switching between Channel 16, 17, 18, 19, 11, 12, 10, 8 in that order. I accidentally pressed 5 instead of 8 and hit Arts Central. I normally don't watch because sometimes whatever "Art-ish" drama can be a bit cheem and I'm not one to appreciate art ever since I scored D- for my still life of a brinjal back in Sec 1.

Anyway, Arts Central was showing "Before Sunrise" and I stayed. Hey, nothing interesting is on the other channels, so I thought, Ok, Ethan Hawke is kinda cute. Somehow, I got drawn in. The movie was released in 1995. A romantic love story for Generation X-ers. I was reminded of that time. The promising years where I wallow myself into this pathetic, angst-ridden, self-pity state and at the same time, immersing myself into grunge, doc marts and new found freedom.

I fell in love with Jesse's (Hawke) floppy fringe which reminded me of someone and that hint of a goatee. MmmmmMm deliciouso. Celine (Julie Delpy) was a french girl with fluent spoken English. These two met in a train in Europe, and wind up spending one romantic evening together in Vienna. Unfortunately, both know that this will probably be their only night together and spent the next 14 hours together.

Thirteen years ago, I wouldn't have the patience to sit through this movie. But now, old with age and mellowing down, I got drawn in and yearn for that dizzy, young love.

The following week, I caught "Before Sunset" where the same characters played themselves 9 years later. It was so hopelessly romantic, I cried for the two of them. Anyway, I don't want to write about the summary. I'd rather post the link here and look it up directly. Let wiki do the explanation.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Before_Sunrise

A few nights ago, I was watching The Taming of the Shrew. Shirley Henderson was so perfect for that role. She was so tiny and him so huge, the effects of the movie kinda sticks to you after a while.

Another tearjerker for me would be The Magic of Ordinary Days. Skeet Ulrich looks every bit the role and Keri Russell was brilliant. I just wish they'd kiss sooner but then again, the simplicity of the whole thing is enough for you to spend time with them. With or without the kissing.

Movies don't have to be sex, drugs and rock & roll all the time to make it worth watching. I just have to make sure no one's around to see the tears fall freely. It's a way to let go and also to tell us that there is hope after all. With all the shit that's happening day in and out today, it's a nice form of escapism.

Here's to Generation-x and yesterday's youth......

Meet The Parents

MTP. That one 15 minute of glory for teachers to expel 3 months of exasperation over your kids problems while making you feel like the dirt you are.

The afternoon began badly enough. The couple before me extended their appointed time and the mummy kept arguing that her daughter is not what the teacher described her to be. The father even said "I'm not ashamed to admit that my daughter is a smart girl". Yeah, the teacher agreed but her attitude problem left much more to be desired.

The fat man after the couple got the "your son is smart but talks nonstop" routine. Then, it was my turn and the whole circus started. Apparantly, no one was more talkative, disruptive, loud and difficult to work with than my Danial. While I sat there growing smaller and smaller by the minute knowing that the other parents could hear every single word, dear teacher would go on and on about my kid's negative traits and somehow made me feel that whatever Danial did was actually my fault.

I naively thought that by attending these sessions, I could be actively involved in monitoring my son's academic performance and receive/give feedbacks on his school's progress. Unfortunately, I discovered that his good grades were "not that big a deal" and that disrupting the whole class is actually his main forte. Geez, it's beginning to get real embarrasing attending these meetings.

I didn't fault the teacher. While I understand that Danial might have a problem in social behaviour, it would be less awkward if these were laid out to me in private instead of in his classroom for all to hear. I just wished I could attend the session alone without The Dad. He made me clamped up. I couldn't open up and explain more to the teacher. Even if I did manage to say something, I sound like a pathetic girl who were caught with the hand in the cookie jar.

Maybe I'd do like what my parents did to me. Don't bother about MTP and just don't turn up. Year in and year out, I'd be the last one to receive my report book at the end of the day because my 'very busy parents' were too busy to bother. But of course, I don't want to be like that. I knew how it felt like. It was horrible.

So there I was, subjecting myself to utter misery and just sat there stupidly while dear teacher read me the riot act.

Danial got a good scolding from The Dad. I couldn't help feeling sorry for him. It was his birthday after all. What a way to celebrate. We stopped at my parent's place to eat the cake that both of us bought and both grandparents were singing the "children....what do you expect" song. Of course it was not his parents, so afterward, The Dad was complaining about my parents attitude on the whole thing. I maintain good relations by just shutting the hell up. No point in explaining something that's just not worth explaining. Worse comes to worst, I'd be at fault again. I'd wager my 30 gig MP4 player though that his parents would've said the same thing. Hah!

While I knew that kids can have split personalities when it comes to both worlds (home and school) I just thought we'd cut them some slack. They barely have enough time to breathe in the first place, what with homework and remedials and supplementary classes and tests and exams, I thought they could be allowed to be just them. Children.

I had a good talk with Danial that night while The Dad was sleeping. He was at his lowest and was quiet throughout the evening. It's the only time to have a heart to heart without having someone pitching in their own opinions. I told him how much I love him and that he shouldn't be doing the things he did in class. I told him that I was disappointed at his report and I expect better feedback from his teacher in future. He vehemently disputes the claims of "pulling Edward's hair" but I told him that he is solely responsible for his actions and that we will only give him credit where it's due.

I hugged him and whispered "happy birthday and goodnight". He told me he loved me too and curled up beside me waiting for sleep to come. I watched him sleep and chided Matin for jumping around so much. Both boys were out within 15 minutes.

Exhausted, I alternated channels between the finals of Project Runway Season 4 and Americal Idol Season 7 before switching everything off and calling it a day.

Hrumph....the joy of motherhood.