The People-With-Issues

Today, I want to talk about the people in my office. Heck, every office with cute cubicles cramped with living people for 9 hours a day would have some sort of issue problem. Politics aside, here's what we have in our place.

The Trapped Primary Schooler
Behaves like those pesky schoolgirls who go around telling everyone not to "friend" a specific person. The last time I met these type was when I was in Primary School. There's this girl who would issue slips of note and mine would read "I don't friend you". The "In-Crowd" would of course have the "I friend yous". Not that I care, really.

This same person would also use other terms of endearment to describe the person they're talking about. Like "watermelon", "sotong", "broad bean" and the like. Sometimes I wonder what kind of fruit I'll end up to be at the end of the day.

The Toilet Paper Hogger
There will be rolls of toilet paper underneath this person's desk. It's not a big deal if it's all his/hers. Now we know why the roll holder are always empty.

The Takeaway King/Queen
Where I work, there will always be seminars, talks or whatever going on at the Auditorium next door. Such functions will see lines of buffet tables. As staff who were seldom involved in the functions, we were specifically warned not to "meddle" with the food outside (as if we're starving third world refugees) . One or two (usually the same person) would somehow find a way to "help themselves" to the food and as always, get away with it.

The Always on Demand Personnel
While the whole department has to shut down in order to attend a (usually boring) talk at the Auditorium, someone would easily weive their way out. Tactic is usually see-through. Even a 5 year old could figure it out. Since the whole department would close, someone would usually be required to stay "on guard" in cases of walk in customers. This someone would hold the handphone numbers of his/her friend who is currently at the Auditorium.

Five minutes into the lecture and you'll hear someone's phone ringing. That "someone" being so considerate and did not want to interrupt the lecture would pretend to be flustered by the ringing, pick up the call and quietly exit the Auditorium, never to return. Smart.

The Quiet Mouse
This would be the quiet one who would work quietly and who would also complain quietly. This someone would also quietly refuse to participate in office events and would quietly disappear and hide in the toilet when everyone was busy preparing to go. After the whole department is gone, this quiet person would quietly creep out and quietly sit in his/her desk to "do work" (what work? as if he/she is the only busy person in the department).

Since this person has quietly disappear, no one would notice the quiet disappearance. The funny thing is, this same person would also quietly appear during "help yourself to the buffet" time and quietly join the crowd to quietly take the food.

The Complain Brat
This one is the most popular. Always complaining that they're busy. Always complaining that they have a lot of work to do while us louts laze away all day listening to MP3s, chat in MSN and watching YouTube. It's funny that the complainers can take one hour to complain when they can complete that task they complain about in half that time. Complainers normally spend their waking office hours at their colleagues' cubicle or in the Manager's room doing, what else, complaining.

The Wrong Samaritan
This special person have too many "helpful" things of "future use" on her desk. There is even an extra chair for the sky high files piled up for "future use" which is supposed to be against the regulations as one person should only use one chair unless this person has a spare iron butt. I don't usually bother with her until one day, she decided to tweak my feathers.

We have this desk and chair in a small corner used by us during lunch time. One day, this chair disappeared because this wrong samaritan said that the chair should be given to the cleaning lady who has to sit down on the floor to eat her lunch. Hello? Here is someone telling us to give when she has more that one chair for her own backside.

There you have it. The people in my office. I don't think this is unique. These people existed everywhere. I have to admit, life would not be fun when these people are not around. They certainly add spice although it can be a little too much at times. As long as they don't disturb me, I'm fine with that.

Hmm..it's office hours I'm still blogging. Urrghh..ok, ok, I'm one of the guilty louts. But at least I know the meaning of multi-tasking. I'm writing this while listening to RHCP in YouTube (with the screen down of course) and entering pass/fail students statistics in Excel and checking incoming emails as well. At the same time, I've printed copies of reports and managed to file three of them in the time it took me to type this.

Hmm...I think I'll have to check the pass/fail thing again. What if they pass and I failed them and..horrors!!!....arrgghhh..

I forgot to mention one person - The Paranoid..

The Office

Hubby posted a picture of the two kids and me in his Friendster page. Had a whale of a time convincing everyone that the pic was taken in Australia. We were at the back of a stationery truck with some kangaroos in the background. The Australia outback thing was of course in the Singapore Zoo. Since no one in the office had visited the zoo recently, they fell for my story, trucks, kangaroos and the whole Australia sheebang.

It didn't help that I had a bag of Australian nougats which I bought the other day at Tangs and was busy distributing them as well. Apparantly no one cares that I have been slaving away at my cubicle the past year and have not taken any leave that exceeded 2 days in a row.

Talking about the office, they're laying down new carpets the other day. We're told to start packing our stuff and leave cupboards half empty. It was the perfect time for spring cleaning and the amount of trash in the pantry was mind boggling. I didn't mean paper for scrapping, the occasional shoe box or broken picture frame but a whole carton of empty perrier bottles?!! There is even an egg carton, broken shoe rack and a bunch of something that look like dead cockroaches - eww...The junk these people drag to work these days...

The Weight

After much hassling, deliberating, waiting, stalling, sweating and swearing, I've finally created something which I've been postponing for many years to start. My own blog. Yay. And so, let's start the whining, complaining, musings, grumblings and mumblings.

I think I'm really suffering from quarter life crisis. Life to me nowadays, is more like watching a snail's football match that went into extra time. I'm exhausted most of the time and Ive tripled my weight ever since I got married. Horrifying.

I have denied this of course. They weight issue that is. I kept telling everyone I weigh 50kg. Unfortunately, with someone who has a height issue as well, 50kg is not that ideal a weight. It's way over. It wasn't until we had to rush 2 year old Matin to NUH the other day (he has fever that reach 40 and the family doctor's closed because it's a public holiday) that the warning signals starts crashing in.

Matin who was usually co-operative, chose of all days, to pull the ultimate stunt and create a huge ruckuss in the Children's A&E. Since he refused to stand at the weighing scale, Mummy has to hold him and stand with him. Nurse will then minus his weight to mine. I peeked at the nasty digital numbers and saw the terrifying figures. I dare not even calculate my BMI because it sure isn't in the 21-25 region.

I have to do something but what? I ain't giving up my chicken wings. No. Not those beautiful marble cheese cakes from Secret Recipe. Whatever will I do to satisfy my cravings for a bar of Snickers? I don't think chewing on a celery would help, not if you can't dip it in a bowl of sinful chocolate syrup.

I guess I'll have to manage it sometime. What if I were to bump into the occasional ex in a shopping mall or something? It's one thing if he can't recognise me. But what if he does? And the wifey of course would look exactly like Heidi Klum. Arrgghhh!!!

Danial, my first-born told his classmate that his mummy is fat. I know because he told me. I was like "Do I really look that fat toyou?" He goes "Yup. Like Big Daddy V, see?" he was pointing at the TV screen at a huge, meaty brute of a man trying to pin someone under his armpit. How could my beloved seven year old compare me to someone that gross in WWE? EewwWw..

I think I'll go eat my celery.

Wait, I'll start the celery after that chocolate cake I bought from Secret Recipe.

Then again, maybe I'll have an ice-cream first....