I've got this colleague. Sweet but hopelessly clueless. I mean, we all talk about globalisation and the world getting smaller with onsloughts of up to date technology and information slam-banging into us every other week. No, I'm not talking about a dummy who don't know how to use a cellphone because that honour goes to Miss M who insists she hates people calling her (who would?). So far, no one has bothered to teach her how to send messages either.
Ok, let's get back to my hopelessly clueless colleague. Talking to her sometimes is like settling slowly to the bottom of the ocean. Don't get me wrong. She is nice. She also has marital tiffs like all of us (I mean, doesn't everybody?). She's hardworking and she has her own problems too. But it's her text messages that's driving me up the wall. It's not normal SMSs over the weekend like "what's up?" or "eh, how r u? can u teach me how to pound shrimp paste?" or "where do i get the best toilet seats?" No - it's not like that at all. It's always those unoriginal forwarded ones.
Like these..
-The night is black, the stars are bright, Good Nite.
-Time flies and we fly, so together fly, bla bla. Friends are forever, happy Friendship day.
-We are special, you are special bla bla blupp bloop. Happy woman's day.
-In life we must trust, we must bla bla bla...That's why I'm sending this to you..good morning
-Unity we gain, fun we maintain blabbety bla bla...hello, good day.
-Blooming flowers everywhere bla bla bla...happy clothes hangers day...
-Oceans are blue blam bluum bluum...Happy pregnant goldfish day bloop bloop..
Oh wait! I just received another one.
-Life is full of beautiful things, soft sunsets, rainbows, pretty flowers, love and nice people like you, good afternoon. (Hey! I thought I received this two nights ago??!)
The first part was grossly exaggerated but the recent one is real. But still, you get the drift. It's irritating the hell out of me and I didn't have the heart to tell her to stop sending me all these. I know it's free of charge and there's no harm in me receiving all these. But sometimes, the messages would come in the middle of the night and I, already not enough sleep would check out the message thinking it could be something urgent and discovered that it's only one of those messages above. Worse, I couldn't get back to sleep after that.
For Hari Raya, I get an e-card from her and three "Selamat Hari Raya" poems and SMSs. It's not like she couldn't wish me because we were sitting three cubicles apart from each other. Any other day, she'd come in and wished us good morning and barely three minutes later, there will be one message saying something like "Birds are chirping, life is fun, good morning". What the heck??!! I don't mind creative original ones from her but recycled lame ones? Please lah.
One time, she actually forwarded a message about a bomb threat somewhere in HV. I know this is one of those forwarded ones because I received an email about this. The police had sent a warning against those who forwarded such things. I told her about it and she gave me this skeptical look before asking "how you know? sure or not?"
"Of course I know lah!! I don't spend every lunch time sleeping. I have a curious mind. I surfed and googled for information. I read the newspapers and watch the news. My life don't circle around work and home only!!! I don't blindly forward messages that might cause major pandemonium. I think before I act!!!..."
No, I didn't say all those at the risk of sounding what we malays call it "riak". That would be a sin you know. That incident did not put her off. Five minutes later, another message popped up again - from her.
This has been going on for years and so far, no one has told her off. We couldn't. She's so sweet and sincere it's just too difficult. One time, the messages did stop. When she gave birth and throughout that difficult first year when her baby have medical problems. She was too busy with her first child that she totally stopped sending me those forwarded messages. It was a period of peace. The one or two messages which she did sent are those genuine ones like "how r u" and "send my regards to all in the office". I welcomed such messages and responded heartily.
Now that everything has gone back to routine, the messages have started coming again.
Maybe it's high time I give her a pregnant goldfish for her birthday.
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